What your Mario Kart 64 Character Says About You.

Updated: Jan 14

No matter how much you may consider yourself open to new things, there is one thing all humans are picky about, who their Mario Kart character is. There’s a reason for this. Who you select as your go-to racer says a lot about who you are as a person.

Fuck astrology! You can learn a lot more about a person from which character they select on Mario Kart than you can from what half goat, fish, planet sign they are. Don’t believe me? Our buddy Mike Long from Dadurdays Brewing (@dadurdaysbrewing) slid into our DMs with the proof.

Mario – Natural leader, likes missionary sex and never skips the trophy ceremony at the end of the tourney.